Yesterday was a SUPERFUN day!

I am so lying in my blog entry title by the way! Yesterday was one of the toughest days I've had since really starting my life style changes. In case you're wondering, wonder no further. Nope I didn't cheat at all, but I believe I gazed very longingly/lovingly at all the yummies(which really aren't anymore) that I won't ever eat again. I wanted a diet coke so badly!

Why you ask??? I'll tell you...read on!

I've been reluctant to write about this. Even if no one reads this...this is one of those instances where I've wanted to ignore a problem very badly! But I can't! Plus...it's not finished yet.

3 or so months ago, I found one of those big "L" words. Yes a Lump...3 guesses as to where, and the first two don't count! Not on my noggin, and not on my car! Just 2 weeks ago, at the behest of my Dr., I had a lovely mammogram...I won't go into detail(but if any women have never had one, and want to know what to expect...I'll share a bit more privately). I was a bit freaked out by the whole process. So, yes they found what I thought they'd find, plus other things that I didn't expect. I mean literally within 2 days of having that mammo, I had THREE, yes that is THREE more appointments to deal with this. One was a routine apt., that's fine, the other two are not so much. The key factor in all of this...NO ONE TOLD ME A BLESSED THING!!! I didn't have any information until yesterday. I practically had to pry that from the nurse practitioner who saw me yesterday. She was very good and very nice, but not wanting to commit to sharing anything to in depth. She did ease my fears a bit, but not all the way. She shared with me the results of my previous mammo, and said I should still go have those next apts. all the way over in Martinez. After she did a sonogram on me, she said that it looked MOSTLY like a cyst. The obvious read to that statement is that it didn't all the way, and what the crap is it? Hmmm...I might make my momma go with me to those other apts.! What is this...apparently a girl never gets over needing her momma!

So, what with all the fear/anxiety, not overwhelming, but certainly ever present, I had to literally call someone in order to make sure I would stay on my wagon...I didn't want to cheat, but the urge was strong...I kept hearing..."Awwh, come on Jen! You've been so good, after all this, you deserve a reward/treat. You don't ever give yourself those anymore...just once wont hurt!" Dude, my inner voice sounds like SATAN!!!! J/K, but man, I want the waiting to be done RIGHT NOW!!!

Okay...

Jen's Food Journal: 10/1/08

Breakfast: 2 eggs, very light butter on a very toasted piece of wheat/health food bread, some ketchup to top it off, vitamins.
Lunch: After my apt. I really couldn't eat..., vitamins
Dinner: Vegetable salad with cabbage NOT lettuce...I've discovered I don't like lettuce to much, balsamic dressing, an orange, 6-8 pecans, vitamins

No cheating, and I did get all my water.