Imagine yourself standing in a smallish room with out any sort of top on in front of a woman you've never met before, trying to make semi-decent small talk to avoid thinking about the fact that you are hugging a cold machine that you just know unnumbered thousands of others have hugged in a very similar style. That is what I was doing today at 3pm pacific standard time. I arrived early for my 3:15pm appointment with a mildly nauseated stomach, just wondering where I'd be an hour from now. Would I be leaving with answers? Would I be having a biopsy? Would I leave with a diagnosis? And finally and most hoped for, Would I be leaving with a clean bill of health?
I was called early, which is a rare thing in the world of Kaiser...if you know them at all they too run on MST, Mormon Standard Time. Which is code for a day late and a dollar short of anything remotely resembling the concept of "on time." After meeting the very nice technician named Christine, who promptly had me remove the aforementioned shirt, etc., we proceeded to get very friendly. She now knows my "girls" better than any boy ever has! But in this scenario, I didn't ask for her number, I asked for the machine's number, cuz MAN!, that machine got very personal with me! When I told Christine that I needed it's number, she laughed out loud! She said that no one had ever said it quite like that, and then agreed that it does get more action with lots of different women, than any man she's ever met...thank heavens!
She then proceeded to hand me a hospital gown that was made for the size of person that I hope to be someday. It was so very small! I asked her for a different size, and she said, okay, but that the only other size they had was humongous! She wasn't wrong, but I'd rather wear the tent than show off my beautiful self to all those unfortunate souls waiting around for their own tests. They don't need that kind of fright right before submitting to the ministrations of some other person in a white lab coat.
She read the X-ray, stated that I had a good picture taken, and sent me off down the hallway to be seen by an ultrasound technician and then by the Doctor. We picked my momma up from the waiting area and had her walk with us to another waiting area. I teased Christine and told my mom that she tried to hand me a gown that was a size that would probably fit my leg. We all did laugh then, being that we were all a bit on edge.
I was led to the next waiting area, which was really a hallway with chairs, where my mom and I sat down to wait for the next test to happen. I was quite nervous, so I did get some really good focused reading done, as of course I brought my schoolwork with me.
I went into the ultrasound room, and the technician directed me to lay down on the table...here is where my Butt had a few tricks up it's sleeve, to help me feel even more awkward. I sat on the bed to lay down for the procedure, and as I did...the bed practically slid out from underneath me...made me feel HUGE! The tech tried to pass it off that I shouldn't have "pounced" on the bed, but really...she didn't lock the wheels on it. I do did not pounce, but being nervous DOES make me awkward, so I supposed I COULD have contributed to the tricks that my Butt performed in there!
After I got all settled, she did the ultrasound. At this point I am a bit freaked out. The lump I felt initially was in neither the new X-ray they did, or with the ultra sound side that she started out with. We share some even more inane small talk and all the while I'm thinking...this is almost over...what's going to happen?
The Doctor comes in at the end of the session, spends all of 3 minutes with me and the Tech and then says, "You're fine! We'll see you in five years!" After all my fear, apprehension, and nausea...that's it? It kinda felt like it did when I was released from my mission. I'd spent 18 months focused on this specific task and then...sitting in my Stake President's kitchen (also, I'd known the man my entire life...so that didn't help either), "You're Released!" TADA!!! Just like that...No more mission...No breast cancer. What a thing to worry about.
What all their concern was over is apparently the fact that I didn't just have one cyst, but I had five or six or seven in a rather disconcerting chain-like formation. While this problem does seem to run in our family, they didn't see anything concerning enough to even biopsy this. It won't cause me any issues for the foreseeable future, which, let's face it...is frickin' fabulous! I believe I did a happy dance! Am STILL doing a happy dance right now...although that could be because I also need to visit the little girls room too!
Leave it to me and my momma to go out to dinner after getting the happy news! Here are pictures from our foray into the Claim Jumper restaurant. As to what I ate there...read my food journal after the pics!
Isn't my Momma adorable! WAIT 'till you hear her say "Sundee, Mondee, Tuesdee, Wednesdee, etc.," and He-cups for for hiccups! I love her cute guts so much!!! 
2 comments:
HOORAY!!!!! I'm so happy for your clean bill of health!
I'm so glad for you!!! Hey, if you want to start adding great fiber to your protein shakes, use whole ground flax seed. You will NEED it after surgery!!
Post a Comment