Monday, Monday!

I woke up this morning thinking about all the lovely things that were said during conference yesterday. My mind kept going back to the last talk given by Pres. Monson. He talked about ( or at least what I heard/gleaned from his talk) hope. He gave us His blessings, which is a major thing I think, and said that through all our lives, struggles, and trials, the Lord would stay with us, if we can stay faithful and have hope. I know there were many more aspects to his sermon, but This is what resonated with me, not only because of my own life, and the lives of my close family and friends, but because I can't help thinking about the little girl I know with cancer. I cannot imagine what her parents are going through, and indeed, I don't want to try. That is a spiral that no one should have to go through. That little girl elected to come to this life in the pre-existence knowing that she would struggle and have hardships. I don't know if any of us can comprehend what that means in such an innocent state. But she has blessed and continues to bless the lives of those who know her. She has strength. She has courage. She has a mother who fights for her survival like a momma alligator. A bear just didn't quite seem as intent as her mother is. Alligators are fierce and determined and deadly when crossed. Okay, she wouldn't actually harm anyone, I think, but she and her whole family are being tested. I pray for them that what happens for them and their family will be for the best and for their ultimate good. I am sure that while I am not an intimate acquaintance of that family, their lives affect mine and many others. I keep a prayer in my heart for them, and when I feel blue or downtrodden, I remember to have perspective and strive for grace in my hardships and understanding for those around me. This is a continual and progressive goal in my life.

Jen's Food Journal:

Breakfast: Vitamins, Water, I had NOT one bit of food in my house this AM. Honestly, If I hadn't gotten paid...I would have been out beggin' on the streets...or I would have broken out my food storage stuff! At least I have it, but Yuck!
Lunch: Oh...I wish today had been better...now come the public humiliation part...I got myself a low calorie salad, but honestly, it tasted HORRIBLE! I make better salads that what I PAID for! I tossed it, found myself a lean cuisine sandwich, cooked it in the Micro, and ate that...while at work. I didn't get my vits with this.
Dinner: Fish, it was overcooked, Salad, it was great!, a yogurt, nope...no vitamins...I am forgetting this step...

Now for the really bad part. I am so not happy with myself, but I said that I would be honest on this so I won't lie to you, or to myself. I got so hungry today, while I was out shopping for food. I resisted ALMOST everything. No soda...shocking, No Ice cream...even more shocking, but I did buy something I shouldn't. I bought some of those Entamen's??? Chocolate Donuts. I didn't even like them, that much. Why did I do this to myself? I have several theories actually... They follow here:
1. I didn't eat AT ALL right today, so my blood sugar got all wonky. While I don't have diabetes, or even pre-diabetes, skipping meals, or eating crappy foods, VERY bad for me. I do best when I stick to a routine.
2. I am worried about tomorrow. I have two appointments to get yet another Mammo and Ultrasound on myself. This was a case of stress eating...my first in a VERY LONG time.
3. I was/am feeling a bit stressed out about my classroom. I have a new student coming Friday, I don't know much about her, other than what I've read. PLUS, I haven't been able to get all my own classroom stuff caught up, because of the next number!!! STRESS...
4. I was/am feeling stressed over my own school work. This course assigns a TON of reading, and very in depth assignments. I am trying to get caught up(the TEACHER was late with some stuff) to where I need to be, and get my first assignment done. Add to all that, if it isn't done by tomorrow...I can't get it done because I'll be gone all of Wed. and will head from where I'll be straight to class in Hayward.

Oh Boy...I do have somethings about this situation that I am happy with though...they follow:
1. I didn't eat them all, I threw away what was left when I realized I didn't even like them.
2. I am fessing up to doing it, to me, and to you.
3. I've analyzed WHY this MAY have happened in an attempt to avoid this problem behavior in the future.
4. I will get myself back on track, NOT starting tomorrow, but starting NOW!

I do feel better! I hope you do too!

Smile!