Life is Funny, and now I want to sleep!

I actually had today off from work. It was very nice, and yet is was still a very busy day! I encountered a totally new aspect of the process to get my gastric bypass surgery. I had to see a psychologist/therapist to be evaluated by them. The purpose is to ensure that I know what I am doing, and to see if they really think that I am fit/able to mentally handle the changes that will come to my life. I wonder if a half hour session can really determine that? Well, it isn't like it's therapy, it's really just conversation and asking me about my current success strategies, or failures. She was a very nice lady, and I enjoyed the time I spent with her.

I was quite open and honest with her. I decided I had no reason not to be. (Unfortunately, I'm going to be open and honest right now too.) I told her that I had indeed seen a therapist in my past and had even taken medication to help me through a really rough patch that I had. I didn't take meds or even go for therapy for very long, and it took me some time to make myself go, but it was helpful to me, even though I still kinda don't like that therapist I saw. How ironic! How many people would admit to that? I feel afraid to do so, and yet that is a fleeting emotion too. I think I mostly feel at peace with that choice, because it did help me. I had some very difficult work situations, mixing in with that some relationship challenges, well, a fairly significant relationship ended in my life, and I was at lose ends. I knew I couldn't go back because if I did I'd never move on to what I wanted/needed more than that friendship, but I was also really lonely and sad even that I did have my best friend to talk to. That still hurts sometimes. But the further on I move in my life, the more grateful I am for that decision. It was probably the hardest one I have ever made, even now I can't think of anything I've done that was harder. As I said before, this all happened during a very difficult time at work as well. I was spending my days getting beat up by my student, and would end almost everyday in tears in my classroom, especially when my staff would get beat up too. I could almost handle it better when it was just me getting hurt, because I didn't have to deal with the guilt I felt that my staff were getting hurt too.

Anyway, she was pretty impressed I think that I told her about my previous therapy/medication. She said I passed my interview with an A, the teacher in me was happy to hear that, and she paid me a compliment. She said that I was a person who knew how to handle stress, and had lots of good coping mechanisms to do so. WELL, I'll TRY to remember that when I really feel like the life stresses I have are getting the best of me.

Over all a good day. I am tired now, so I'm headed to my pillow! I love you all, and hope you are as great as I seem to be right now....okay that was so meant to be funny! So laugh I tell ya!